I didn’t decide yet whether to travel anywhere, but should make up my mind soon, if I want to get away before the high season starts; I’m also not sure how much I may be needed at home during the summer months.
So, when I went on a long walk in the woods today, I decided to leave my mind free, rather than listen to a podcast or music, in case insight came.
None did, which is typical. When I’m walking in the woods, it’s hard to think about plans, or arrive at practical decisions. What I was thinking about, if anything, was that I’m quite happy to be doing what I’m doing. So is it actually necessary to go anywhere during this period? A time will come when I feel a pressing need, no doubt.
I thought also about my conception of the universe and the place we occupy in it. Today I was in three bookshops looking for a Hebrew translation of the Tao Te Ching, as D wanted to give it as a gift to someone. It seems to be a popular book here: all the sales assistants I spoke to knew it, and the first two shops had run out of copies. The second shop sent me to another branch of their chain, where she discovered that two copies remained. “It’s wonderful,” said the shop assistant.
The shops also carried a translation of the complete writings of Ramana Maharshi and D asked me to get that too, so I got it. On the cover, it has the Sanskrit word “Aham” (I).
So on my walk I also thought a little about Ramana. I have never felt drawn much to his method of self-inquiry. I’m probably more attracted to “affirmation”, the way of the mahavaykas. But it isn’t exactly that. My practice is more one of attempting to integrate the realisation of the error in our perception. Ahankara makes us conceive of ourselves as separated and limited, whereas in truth we are of the same substance as the universe, which expresses itself through us, as it does in every other being/element (sarvani bhutani). This oneness, this unity-verse, is worthy of devotion: not that of the individual + an object of worship. Devotion is a bhava, a state. The state of existence is itself wrapped up with the innate inclination to be worshipful. Bhakti, which is love, is the glue that holds everything together. That’s my approach, basically.
I did not find a proper guide in it, and sometimes I wish there would be one. Maybe I am myself the best guide, but so far I’m not impressed wtih the results.